9/27/2023 0 Comments Corporate lingo bingo![]() ![]() I don’t quite know what to make of the fact that effective soared in popularity while accurate plummeted. ![]() Given how disruptive most DevSecOps tools are to software velocity, I suspect these vendors might be yanking our supply chain. Vendors believe we feel the need for speed, our security engine antsy to go faster. In 2023, there are three simple words cybersecurity vendors want to hear from buyers: “You complete me.” They want you to discover all the insights they have to share and really wish you would prioritize them over all the other vendors you could take to prom they are the fabled local single eager to meet you. Does this mean cybersecurity is creeping its way into the modern era? Software engineers strongly suspect security vendors are still full of shit. Infosec also realized that workflows exist, which isn’t shocking given they seemingly remain unware of the existence of UX. The security industry is finally aware that developers exist, although they seem less enthused than Steve Ballmer was once upon a time (but maybe as sweaty about it). We care more about CI/CD and APIs this year even Kubernetes is mentioned more than endpoints, although I would waste an unreasonable amount of time watching security people try to explain what Kubernetes is. Indeed, I’ve often marveled at the similarities between cybersecurity vendors and chiropractors. We grew more sensitive this year, perhaps due to the intensifying focus on posture. Without further introduction, below is the 2023 Cyber Startup Buzzword Bingo card – read on if you want more analysis:Īll bolded buzzwords are on the rise (unless otherwise indicated). The idea behind the bingo card is to take it with you on journeys through vendor halls, sales pitches, or startup websites and see whether you can replace your eyerolls and abyss-gazing with the surprise and delight of “Bingo!”. I surveyed 100 infosec companies’ websites 3, the vast majority of which are startups who raised VC funding in the past nine to twelve months or else are notable (like having booths in RSAC’s Early Stage Expo). This edition of my annual Cyber Startup Buzzword Bingo elucidates the current zeitgeist through which buzzwords are most popular among cybersecurity startups. We have decided that all of this performative pomp led by Captain Ahabs everywhere will definitely Fix Things This Time – and it shows in our buzzwords. You see, rather than reflecting on our inability to mitigate untrustworthy code by design – how wayward we strayed from the dreams of the first security thought leaders in the 70s and 80s 1 – in 2023 we’ve decided that we must purchase at least seven tools shoved into developer workflows (with one more for each developer that procrastinates completing the 5 hour security awareness training) design regulatory obstacle courses navigable only by the most digitally transformed of golden retrievers (by mortals who will never have to traverse it themselves) 2 and that to really shift left, we must strap dolphins with vulnerability scanners to echolocate bugs in undersea cables (we wanted to try with bats in data centers but general counsel shot us down). We can contemplate this windmill-tilting through the language cybersecurity startups use to describe their shelfware products. So say goodbye to boring meetings and hello to Corporate Lingo Bingo! Download this printable game today and give your colleagues and clients something to talk about.In 2023, cybersecurity is chasing the chimera of software doomsday devices. Use it to break the ice at a networking event, or spice up a boring conference call. ![]() Plus, with the convenience of printing from anywhere, it's easy to bring the game with you wherever you go. Perfect for any work party - work event - office party - coworker party - office game event! It's the perfect way to inject a little humor into your next meeting and get everyone laughing - or groaning - together. The first player to get 5 in a row wins - but with so many combinations possible, no two games are ever the same!įrom "let's circle back" to "synergy", our game includes all your favorite buzzwords and overused business phrases. The host calls out each phrase at random and players mark their cards accordingly. This hilarious bingo game comes with 30 printable Bingo cards, so everyone can get in on the action. ![]() Looking to add some fun to your next corporate meeting or networking event? Look no further than this Corporate Lingo Bingo game! Featuring all the funny jargon and common business phrases you know and love, this game is sure to liven up any get-together. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |